Updated: Aug 6, 2019
I recently asked a group of Mums' to share their story to be part of a new online fourth trimester program, so I thought it's only fair I do the same.
I always knew I wanted to two children, after having my first that was. There was a time though that I thought it wouldn't happen to me, however, timings aligned and it was my turn. I became a Mum.
I was absolutely in awe of my first son, Max. I couldn't stop staring at him. This baby was mine. I had a son. It blew my mind.
The first year with Max will blissful. Hot summer. Friends around. I was in a position to go to classes, lunches, holidays, shopping, day trips. I was out and about doing different things with my little mate.
Because Max was my first it also meant I could focus all of my time on Max. If I had a sleepless night we went back to bed in the morning. Patience was also much more present.
The night in the bath.
Fast forward to my second; my spirited, darling, Dexter. As soon as I met him, I knew his arrival into the world was an indicator of his personality to come.
He was 8 days early and didn’t want to wait. Labour was SUPER quick, ending in a dramatic, unplanned arrival in the bath.
Shortly before falling pregnant with Dexter I suffered a miscarriage which I am sure caused something in my body to switch and play it's part in an auto-immune condition. The aches and pains meant the basic tasks were a struggle and painful.
I remember sitting on the edge of the bed in the middle of the night and crying at how little fun it was. Getting him dressed caused pain. Getting up to do frequent night-feeds caused pain.
In those early days with two kids it was full of solutions to find -
I was still doing everything for both - nappies, milk, drink, food, nappies, milk, drink, food, play, nappies, play milk, sleep. Repeat.
Having two meant my time, and attention felt split.
If I had a sleepless night with Dex, then it was tough titties because I still had to get up with Max for the start of his day.
Dexter didn't get half as out and about time as Max - his playtime was a trip to the supermarket.
I was generally more tired a couple of years on - with Max, on my hospital form I was classed as a geriatric mother. I must have been prehistoric with Dexter.
My work and income was changing so that came with pressures.
When I look back on those early days I think of it as tough BUT as a woman in the park told me, it gets easier.
And it did.
Little milestones like Max not using day nappies made a difference. Having a few hours with just one bubba felt easier. The aches were starting to ease. The boys would play together so I could potter and get on with things. I got more into my flow and could get somewhere near enough to the time I was suppose be there.
I felt grateful for these tiny tasks becoming easier.
I think as our little ones become a little bigger things do feel easier from the newborn phase. They learn. We learn. Of course those solutions are still there to find, but they are ever-changing and pushing us to change with them.
Fourth Trimester Specialist
Founder of The Confident New Mum Program -
Click here https://www.aprilknell.com/programs to find out more.