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How comes they can do it and I can't?

Week 3. Comparing. #newmumseries

As a new mum the thing we do when we compare ourselves to other mums. I see this so much when I support and help new mums as a #postnataldoula

Picture this -

Mum, let’s call her Emma, will go out to a coffee morning.

Lots of chat flying around and questions being asked.

Other mums say that their little darlin is having nice long day naps and easy to settle.

This has not been Emma’s experience.

Emma left the coffee morning and came home feeling deflated.

Emma is constantly asking herself what she is doing wrong.


Nothing wrong.

· Babies have shorter sleep cycles.

· Babies will thrash around, movement etc whilst they sleep

· Babies typically are light sleepers

· Babies do wake up often (this is a protective thing they have)

· And of course, in the early days babies are feeding frequently - formula and breastfeed babies alike.

Chatting to friends and family can be useful, to help with ideas and see you are not alone BUT…if can often cause negative emotions, just like Emma.

One quick tip to get comparing working for you:

Listen to what your friends have to say.

Have a think about what makes sense to you (tune into instincts – the first thought/feeling that comes up) and ask yourself if it would work for your situation. Once you decide what bits would work for you, leave the rest.

Trying to copy an exact scenario, from a friend, for your baby will often leave you with a different result. Why …. because us mums are different. Our babies are different. Our styles are different. Our set up can be different. If you are trying to change or set up a new situation, go with an idea that suits you and remember to tweak until it’s working.

Question for you; when have you found asking friends or family for ideas to help and left you feeling positive? Share the love in the new support group, Striding into Motherhood.

Click here to get in.

If you are in the newborn fog and haze and would like some support, or you are expecting and would like to be organised and get support in place then have a look at a new package I put together making it super easy to arrange:

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