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Why do we only reach out for support when we are going through the 'thing' ?

Working with new mums for the last 8 years as a postnatal doula, I have seen the different styles, personalities and what’s important to the individual women.


When I meet women can also differ. I either meet women when they are pregnant and they are reaching out for support before the baby arrives. Reasons for reaching out then could be second child, concern over a partner who will work long hours and who will help then, perhaps a physical recovery such as a section.

Then there are the women who I meet when the baby is here and they realise they need some help.

Support to navigate the fourth trimester, looking after the baby so they can rest, answer the zillion questions swirling around their head, provide reassurance and a listening ear.

We all want to feel confident of our choices.

In a survey I put out last year (2020), 80% of respondents (pregnant women) said that ‘feeling prepared with clear expectations of what’s to come in early motherhood’ was important.

Makes sense, right?

So why is it that in some cases we only reach out for support when we are going through it.

In the thick of it.

Holding a baby.

On reduced sleep.

Harder to get clarity.

I also asked in a research piece what would make you reach out for support before you needed it.

The top answer was hearing stories from others (mums).

Sometimes hearing it from us business owners is like a car brand saying how good their car is.

You need to hear it from an independent source. Another mum who has gone through the same as you.

Why is important to reach out for support?

Asking for help allows us to surround ourselves with people who can make us feel good and facilitate further development. These people create optimism and hope that we are able to deal with challenging situations, which improves our resilience.

Source: innerdriveblog

Where can you hear stories from other mums?

  • Friends

  • New mum friends

  • Social media accounts that you feel drawn to (remember to take SM with a pinch of salt sometimes though)

  • People like me who work with new mums and share why they reached out

Of course, sometimes we don’t know a thing will be a thing and we will be learning as we go. However, there are things we can understand and prepare for that will put ourselves in a stronger, happier place to allow us to enjoy those precious early weeks and months with the baby we have waited to meet.

Much love,



For those reading this blog between 29/10 - 1/11 you can take full advantage of a 'Antenatal preparing for Postnatal' session. Normally £99, now £65.

To book your place and read more here.

After 1/11 it goes back up to £99.

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